February 2012
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What do you do when there's a fire alarm in your...
Why, leave to go shopping, of course!
Feels good, man.
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Like nails on a chalkboard
(Walks into the work kitchen to a crowd around the TV)
Me: Hey what's going on?
Colleague: John is playing SSX.
Me: Ohhh.
John: *Bails*
Me: (lip twitches)
John: *Bails*
Me: K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k.
John: ....how do I jump?
Me: GIVE ME THE CONTROLLER.
Tonight, I am going to bed at 9 o'clock
I am that tired. Ugh.
SSX TOMORROW!!!!
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They remember me!
Cashier: Hey man, long time. How can I help ya?
Me: Just trading some stuff.
Cashier: Cool..*beep*, okay. *beep* So what're you trading it for? NGIII?
Me: Not just yet. A Vita.
Cashier: But...how are you trading Little Deviants if you don't have a Vita yet?
Me: Oh I do, I just want another one.
Cashier: REALLY PAT, THIS AGAIN!?
Me: Yes!
Cashier: Ugh...
Me: It's not for ME!
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Stood in the subway next to a man eating greasy...
It was like watching a car crash in freeze frame mere seconds before they collide.
I'm going to phone a friend, Regis
(Undecisive at a restaurant, texting)
Me: Dude, how good are the steaks here?
Adam: How good are big asses?
Me: Oh God, thanks.
3rd grade
friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
me: what
friend: OH MAN
OH
OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
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SSX...demo...was...so...good
A true return to form, I am excited.
“Man, that guy must be rich because he is uuuuuglyyy.”
– Me watching wedding shows, because I do not have the remote
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“If you don’t shut your mouth, I will kick you so hard in the balls, I will...”
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Resident Evil: Revelations is discontinued (for...
Wow!
Keepin’ mah copy.
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“Now quite frankly, who are we to judge, as we are all human. However, times like...”
– Pat, who is always grateful for not being mentally deficient. (via janelim)
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Playing Battle Fantasia free thanks to...
God dammit.
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A thrognar party is always a good party
That was great! Twisted Metal, The Life of Brian, too much pizza, Virtua Tennis and lava cake. Happy Belated, broham.
Anonymous asked: Wow, that is a fantastic list. I love your taste! Not the same anon, but that's an amazing top 5, sir. :D
Anonymous asked: Just curious what your favorite (top 5 maybe?) video game soundtracks are?
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You know when local pizzerias say "Keep a...
And no one ever really cares enough to do that.
I do. And boy is it awesome when you get handed pizza at the door and (aside from tip) you just hand them a smirk and a bunch of receipts! Woop woop woop!
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This is how we sell games at our place
Roommate: Hey. Here's the 20 for Duodecim.
Me: Great. That'll be 8 to 10 weeks for delivery.
R: Free shipping though, yeah?
Me: No, I was going to use SAL shipping.
R: That is fair. So when I miss the package because I'll be at work, I'll have to go out to the post office to get it?
Me: Yup.
R: Just give me the game man.
Okay, people who keep posting the "What my family...
My Facebook wall is basically in an infinite scroll of black Despair 2.0 shit jokes.
You aren’t edgy for posting one and you aren’t extra special for posting one teasing the fact people are posting one (you’re part of the problem douchecake)!